Writing on Afraid

The first thing that came to mind when I thought of the overused word afraid was SINISTER. Sinister is something harmful or wicked, which are both definitely triggered by being afraid. You can also be afraid of yourself and the power within. Being afraid is usually a gut feeling, something that your intuition tells you, it’s also something that can be imposed on someone through intimidation. Gangs and the government use forms of intimidation, “come over to Jerry’s or I’m gonna pump you full of lead”, “Please return your tax forms to the Winnipeg main office, unless immediately done so we will evict you and DEPORT YOU TO HELL”. Yeah, that sort of thing. I was once intimidated by a gang member most likely when he tried to steel my bike. “Gimme your bike” is the phrase that rings in my mind, he then punched me, but his initial statement was just intimidation. Intimidation can be the basis for a lot of nasty things. We can be afraid of new experiences or processes, for instance I was afraid of doing the cluster that preceded this vignette which makes sense because I have nothing to base the idea of clusters on except for the lame school brainstorms we do. Brainstorms are a watered down version of a cluster without any instruction given on how to do them. This is part of the problem of the schooling system, it does not explain how to do things adequately, but that’s only part of it no doubt. Being afraid is often something people try to hide, because for a lot of people the thought of having a fear is not wanted. Trying to hide the natural emotion of fear is disastrous and can lead to crap. World leaders are afraid but try to hide it for the sake of their people. I think the concept of world leaders is kind of odd, one usually immature person trying to lead a nation of millions. I guess for me the word afraid triggers sinister ideas which ties in with my occasional cynical view on life possibly. It makes sense without that cynical view on things though because being afraid is fearing something which could quite possibly be sinister. Afraid, sinister, same thing, dictionaries are hard to read.